Schnitzels are a real guilty pleasure of ours. Boak likes one or two a year; Bailey would eat them every night, if he could.

They’re pretty cheap and easy to make, although they’re not good for you, and do generate a lot of washing up. This recipe has been tweaked to reduce the amount of butter used and, we think, make the schnitzels crisper and less greasy than some of the oily, orange slabs you get served in German pubs.

A couple of notes:

1. We use pork rather than veal. If you use veal, you’ve got a bona fide Wiener schnitzel. German pubs tend to go for pork because it’s cheaper and describe them as ‘in the Vienna style’.

2. The origin of the schnitzel is disputed but we like the theory that it comes from Austria’s near-neighbour, Italy. Certainly, your best bet for finding a decent schnitzel in the UK is to go to an Italian restaurant and order a Cotoletta alla Milanese.

3. That’s what schnitzel means, by the way — cutlet.

Recipe after the jump.

Ingredients (for two)

1. Two pork chops or pork fillets
2. Half a loaf of bread, for crumbs
3. One egg
4. 100g flour
5. Salt, black pepper and paprika
6. 50g of cold (firm) butter
7. A lemon or lime
8. A bloody great big hammer or rolling pin

Making a schnitzel

1. You want only the ‘medallion’ from the centre of your pork chop, with no straggling bits or bones, so trim them that way. You can leave the fat on if you like, as long as you remove any skin or rind.
2. When they’re neat and tidy, take your knife and butterfly the meat, cutting most of the way through from one long side to the other until both steaks fold open fairly neatly.
3. Cover each in cling film and batter them with your hammer. This is quite good fun. Don’t go too mad or they’ll fall apart. They should end up about twice as big as when you started.
4. Arrange three plates with, in this order, flour, beaten egg, and breadcrumbs. Take each piece of meat and coat them in flour; then dip them in the egg, making sure they pick plenty up; finally, press them into the breadcrumbs quite firmly, making sure that they are properly crusted.
5. Grease a large roasting tin. Put two slices of butter on the bottom, one for each schnitzel. Put the schnitzels on top and then put the remaining butter in as many slices as you can manage over the top. The butter is there for a bit of flavour and to help the breadcrumbs brown — if you’re not worried about your heart, chuck on as much as you like.
6. Put the tin in a pre-heated over at around 160-180 centigrade for 25-30 minutes, or until they’re golden brown, turning once after about 15 minutes.
7. Dish them up and put a wedge of lemon on top, and serve with a side salad if you’ve got the crazy idea that pork does not, on its own, constitute a meal.
8. You’ll want a German beer with it.